I survived!

I’ve been afraid of my birthday for some years. I’ve cried on it for at least three straight times. It’s got something to do with the fact that I start to wonder what living my life is worth for if it’s all going to end. Also, I’ve had terrible luck and had some ugly stuff happen on my day too. This year I was determined to not let it be such a bummer, and I decided to make a birthday reunion in my house. Had to do it the day before the actual date because on my b-day I was going to a concert of The Killers, my favorite band, so plans seemed ok.

On Friday I held the first reunion ever at my house. (Not that I’d never had people over, just that it’d always been individually) I invited 5 friends, 2 of which canceled at the last moment. This made me very anxious, what if my “party” turned out to be a huge mess, and showed that no one really wanted to come to my house? In the end, my other friends showed up together with their respective BF’s, so we had quorum. I had a good time, with some minor bumps: it ended quite too soon for me (making me feel people were eager to leave), one of my friends left very early and had no problem saying it was because se had to go to a party, and we didn’t play cuban domino as my nerdself wished. All in all, I overcame my anxiety, laughed, met some interesting people, and ate lasagna 🙂

On Saturday morning I had to show up at work for an iPad course which I do not need 😐 I’ve even told them that I can take the exam any time they want, but no, I have to be there for six Saturdays at 8:30 in the morning. Meh. BF and I were planning to eat with some relatives, but when he picked me up at work at 12 it was way too soon since we had agreed to meet with them at 3, so we went to the movies, and saw a mexican comedy I really enjoyed. Then we had lunch (during which I wasn’t feeling too well anxiety-wise), I had a salad, and after making a technical stop at my house, we headed for the concert at the second biggest forum in Mexico City, El Foro Sol, (with a capacity of 56,000 people).

I couldn’t take my ani-anxiety med ’cause at the entrance they took away my water, and the med’s bottle says in capital letters: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE TAKE THE MEDICATION RIGHT ON THE MOUTH, YOU MUST FIRST DISSOLVE IT IN WATER, and I really didn’t wish to find out why that is so important, at least not empirically, and not on my birthday. I wasn’t feeling well, but all in all the happiness of watching The Killers live helped me deal with it.

I thought I was going to break the tradition and NOT cry on my birthday for a change, and by 10pm I thought I was on the safe side. However, when hottie Brandon Flowers got to “Dustland Fairytale”, I just couldn’t hold my tears, this song gets to me in so many ways. So I did cry, but they weren’t bad tears, so I guess I did break the tradition in a way. (Did gasp when Flowers said their first album came out on 2003, gulp, getting old!)

I was extremely anxious about my birthday, but I survived it, and managed to enjoy my weekend, and I have to say it feels like a victory on my side.

grumpy cat bday princess

22 thoughts on “I survived!

  1. Wonderful! Happy Belated. I don’t enjoy my birthday often either, in fact, I usually take it off so I can stay home and sleep it away. I’ll give your method a try this year. 😉

  2. I have no idea why I also cry on my Birthday. Every year it happens. My Mr. Shrinky suggests that I do because of the loss of not having caring loving mother. I don’t know. What I do know is I hate Birthdays. I hate them with a passion. I generally will spend the entire day in my room. OMG why so many classes for an IPAD course??? I am glad your day turned out well and you had some enjoyment. Lasagna was perfect that’s my comfort food. Wishing you lots of healing!!

    • Thanks a lot Becki! Writing about it has made me realize there are many of us who dread birthdays, makes you feel less alone doesn’t it? As for the iPad classes… I just tune out and spend the two hours playing with all the apps the school’s iPads have. They obviously don’t care I don’t need the course, just that I’m present, so I don’t care about it too much to be honest. How have you been doing? Lots of hugs!!

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