As you may know, I’ve been away for the past week. I did my only post while on the trip thanks to a lucky connection I managed to make while peeing at 5 in the morning. As a result I jumped into the bathtub and blogged on my phone. I didn’t want to do it on bed to not wake BF up, but he still came looking for me about half an hour later to see if was ok. The thing is, for the first part of the trip the whole wi-fi, phone connection was an issue with BF to the point that it created the only fight we had during the trip, and the first one we’ve had in a while.
Our cellphone company doesn’t have a great coverage in that area, and on the particular spot were our resort was located, isolated between San José del Cabo and Cabo San Lucas, it was close to zero. This created a need for a wi-fi connection in case we wanted any kind of communication with the world. I was particularly worried about this for two reasons: a) I was expecting an important email that would let me know whether or not I got a job I applied for that would increase my working conditions by far. b) since L is away on a Europe tour, internet’s pretty much the only way I could connect with him.
From the day we arrived and the next I tried unsuccessfully to log into the wi-fi network using the password they’d given me at the front desk: whale7. They said it was indistinct to use capitals or small letters, but I still couldn’t connect. i tried whale7, whale 7, whaleseven, whale seven, and all sorts of different ways I could think of, because whenever I came to the front desk and tell them I couldn’t connect they’d just repeat the same effing password. And so, for the first 3 days I was hooked to my phone to see when I could grab a signal from my company.
BF was pretty bothered by this. I once asked him to go to the front desk instead of me because they were already annoyed by me, and they didn’t believe my phone wasn’t the problem, but he could not connect either, that would show them! He refused to go though, said I was spending more time with my phone than with him, and I should learn to not be so dependent on the internet. This really got to my nerves because he’s the one always checking all sorts of feeds at all possible times even when it doesn’t seem appropriate, and then of course we were both mad and the evening was ruined. I went to our room and he went god knows where.
Next morning, as he was waiting for the car, I decided to take another round with the concierge available. I explained as simple as I could that the password wasn’t working, that it wasn’t my device. He said the password I was telling him was fine. I checked it was word, then digit, no space, and still it didn’t work. I asked him to write it out for me; at first he refused and insisted I had the right password and I sure wasn’t making any kind of spelling mistake. While my inside was hurting from the wish to grab him by his ridiculous tie and threaten his life if he didn’t write down the goddamned password, I managed to smile and say in the sweetest tone I could: “Just indulge me please, there must be something I’m doing wrong”. He unwillingly grabbed pen and paper and very ominously wrote: WAHLES7. I wanted to staple the damned paper to his forehead! I mean, GOD! Didn’t anyone think in the course of three days that when you say whales7, the last fucking S from whales gets confused with the S from SEVEN!?!? But again, I kept the glamour and walked to our car that was just being brought by the valet.
Once in the car, I solemnly announced to BF that I had attained, after some hard work, the glorious password for the hotel’s wi-fi. He asked me what it was. I felt like saying: “It’s gofindoutforyourselfsucker”, but I was tired of fighting and wanted to spend a nice day so I just told him, not without adding something on the completely not-so-innocent tone of “I’m sooooo glad now I can get those emails I’ve been worried about and I can maintain some sort of communication with L”.
In any case, the hotel’s wi-fi sucked too. Big time. We could only get it in some areas and during some times, which is just what happened that dawn at the tub.
I came back tired as fuck, excited after getting the above mentioned email saying I will indeed change jobs, and terribly panicked about the huge change I’m about to embark on. As soon as I read it the palpitations came back, I haven’t been able to properly sleep with angsty dreams chasing me all night long and so, after meeting N today I’m on anxiety meds again…though it’s just temporary. Mr. Shrinky on the other hand is on his much announced new-baby-leave so I won’t be seeing him for a while, and it’s been much easier than I’d thought at first.
I’m also anxious about the whole process of quitting my current job, as much as I was badly treated in the end, I did gain friendships and appreciated most of my co-workers. And as for the kids, god I’m gonna miss them so much. I didn’t really say good-bye to them as I was sure I’d be seeing them again in August, but well, that’s probably better.
I’m scared all the good things that I see in this new job opportunity are just shown in paper and not in practice (wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened to me), but I’m trusting this won’t be the case since this is a prestigious school with a long trajectory of being a good place to work in. And finally, I’m terrified that all the benefits won’t make up for a hellish work environment hidden behind closed doors. I know I’m being basically paranoid, I’ve been to the school, I’ve met the teachers, my bosses, but I can’t help to think of the worst possibilities when everything looks so good.