The good place – bad place question

Writing is something terribly therapeutic for me, like having a soul massage. But at the same time, I’m so afraid of doing so… perhaps I’m afraid of not being good enough, of what being “good enough” means for me, of …

A series of unexpected events

Hi there! Remember me? Truth is I’ve been thinking long and hard about killing this blog, for good. Too much has happened that I don’t want to talk about in here, and my writing habits have changed a lot in …

Scared to breathe

I’ve become more and more secluded in my own thoughts and my inner reality that I am less and less able to write here, mainly because I used to be open about everything. But I’ve been violated so much by …

A little free writing for the night

Writing doesn’t set you free. Writing ties your thoughts to the world of the concrete. Gives people proof and reason to stab you in the back or right in your face. Nothing good ever came from writing. My happiness depends …

On writing

I hate making new year resolutions. Mainly because I break them. And because I have the world’s fastest changing mind. However, I do want to make a resolution for 2014. I will live up to my own writing expectations. I …

Out, getting a life

It’s been 20 days since I moved out and it hasn’t been a single day, moment, or instant I have not loved it. However, the bubble has indeed burst. I just received a saddening little letter from the father, I’ve …

Leaving

  Ok, so time’s almost up. Boxes are packed, truck’s been hired, and I’m moving on Saturday! All these days are going by so quickly because my mind is already moving out. I haven’t finished packing, but I’m on it. I’m …

Chronicle of a distrained session

Today I went to see the she-shrink (previously known as N in this blog). I was determined to talking about my meds and why they haven’t changed in the two years I’ve been seeing her. But apparently, that wasn’t enough …

Bazzinga!

My last post was written exactly 2 weeks ago, and I hate that. I’m going to work on posting at least once a week. I’ve also noticed that what little I’ve been writing, I’ve been doing so on Sunday evenings. …

Life keeps throwing chances at me…

…and I keep throwing them away.   Maybe I’ll never graduate. Maybe I’m supposed to be an ESL elementary school teacher forever. I’m starting to get comfy in my teacher jumper. I’m starting to see myself doing this in the …

A snowflake falls in May

I haven’t been doing great since Wednesday. The dad of one of my best friends died on that day, and it has triggered the hell out my daddy issues. I came back from Cabo happy, glad I got to spend …

Whale 7

As you may know, I’ve been away for the past week. I did my only post while on the trip thanks to a lucky connection I managed to make while peeing at 5 in the morning. As a result I …

Try

When the school year was over, I thought that’s when I’d be the happiest. Even if I still had to work for an extra week, there’d be no kids at school and we’d all just concentrate on planning for the …

A Long Time Ago… (part 2)

You can check out the first part of this post, where I vaguely describe one side of my family issues, here. As I said in that post, when I first listened to “Picture Book” by The Kinks, it caused a …

Sometimes anything’s better than nothing at all

I’ve noticed my emotions are blurring drastically. I’m not exactly sure when this started, but it’s been about a week and a half. Mr. Shrinky said he’s noticing the hideous signs of depression in me: mouth shut, absence of emotions, …

From here on out

Me and L got carried away yesterday and somehow we threw June 23rd over the board and met right after I left Mount Olympus. And I mean meet both as in “I’ll see you at 7 right under the clock”, and …

On not reading Sarah Kane, or how to end up reading World War Z via losing Red Sorghum

One of my dearest bloggy friends has a thing for Sarah Kane. I had absolutely no idea who she was until she was mentioned in that blog. And then again. And then once again. When this blogger started mentioning the …

No surprises (please)

So here I am for the second week house and catsitting. It feels good to be all alone after the shock I got at the beginning of the week. It’s too bad this is the last weekend I’m doing this. …

Kept in the dark

Tuesday didn’t paint to be a good day. An early appointment with parents pissed at me because their little ray of sunshine got a 6 in Oral Expression (kindda like a C-). Then,I had to get to the thesis seminar (though I …

On (not) letting go

Thought I should come back and let y’all know I’m doing better. Not super better, but hey, I’m moving forward! My technique these past few days (though it only started to kick in this morning) has been to STOP looking …