Past Due

Quitting Mount Olympus has been on my mind. It’s a decision that would definitely break my heart, that might hit me hard, but not doing it it’s also chipping away at me. I love this job so much, that if …

Chronicle of a distrained session

Today I went to see the she-shrink (previously known as N in this blog). I was determined to talking about my meds and why they haven’t changed in the two years I’ve been seeing her. But apparently, that wasn’t enough …

Faithless path

Today’s Independence Day here in Mexico; everybody is out having fun, or sharing the evening with family and friends, partying, celebrating our country, or just finding a legitimate excuse to get wasted; fireworks are nonstop at this point, and no …

Bazzinga!

My last post was written exactly 2 weeks ago, and I hate that. I’m going to work on posting at least once a week. I’ve also noticed that what little I’ve been writing, I’ve been doing so on Sunday evenings. …

I have no words / Undead inside

I don’t know what’s going on with me, I just can’t seem to write.  I’m just filling up this blog with drafts that never seem to be finished. Or I simply don’t start writing them at all, because I don’t …

Life keeps throwing chances at me…

…and I keep throwing them away.   Maybe I’ll never graduate. Maybe I’m supposed to be an ESL elementary school teacher forever. I’m starting to get comfy in my teacher jumper. I’m starting to see myself doing this in the …

How do you go on?

Today was a particular tough day. I had to go to the school I’ve worked in for the past year to quit ’cause I got a better job. I had scheduled today to be the day and only in the …

A snowflake falls in May

I haven’t been doing great since Wednesday. The dad of one of my best friends died on that day, and it has triggered the hell out my daddy issues. I came back from Cabo happy, glad I got to spend …

Second Round

The following is a translation I made of a text published by Miguel Cane @AliasCane in animalpolítico.com, a mexican independent news site that endorses young journalists and writers. This particular text touched very deep fibers in me, and I wanted …

Try

When the school year was over, I thought that’s when I’d be the happiest. Even if I still had to work for an extra week, there’d be no kids at school and we’d all just concentrate on planning for the …

A Long Time Ago… (part 2)

You can check out the first part of this post, where I vaguely describe one side of my family issues, here. As I said in that post, when I first listened to “Picture Book” by The Kinks, it caused a …

Sometimes anything’s better than nothing at all

I’ve noticed my emotions are blurring drastically. I’m not exactly sure when this started, but it’s been about a week and a half. Mr. Shrinky said he’s noticing the hideous signs of depression in me: mouth shut, absence of emotions, …

Kept in the dark

Tuesday didn’t paint to be a good day. An early appointment with parents pissed at me because their little ray of sunshine got a 6 in Oral Expression (kindda like a C-). Then,I had to get to the thesis seminar (though I …

Adventures in exhaustion land, part 2

Wow, can’t believe I’m back here for the second time today! Remember I told you earlier today that I lost my Red Sorghum copy? I’m almost devastated, but mostly surprised, that I misplaced a book. I mean, A BOOK! I’m known …

On (not) letting go

Thought I should come back and let y’all know I’m doing better. Not super better, but hey, I’m moving forward! My technique these past few days (though it only started to kick in this morning) has been to STOP looking …

Infinite sadness

How can it be possible to feel so sad? It’s amazing, especially when I went to bed last night virtually alright. I’m feeling incredibly (impossibly?) sad, but things today don’t seem any different than yesterday when I went to sleep …

Advil and diet coke

For the past couple of days I’ve been living on diet coke, red bull and advil, with the occasional snack, oh and vitamins. I’m trying my best not to take my “wakey wakey” pills because I don’t have any and …

Crawling forward

Wow, feels like forever since I’ve been here. Not only have I missed blogging every single day, I’m also afraid (as silly as it may seem) that if I don’t keep up with my posts as I used to, I’m …

Deranged

My relationship with N* has always been stressed, there was the time when she made it clear she wasn’t going to share one bit of herself with me, there was the time when she asked me to get a CAT …

Smile like you mean it

There is no day that goes by without someone checking out my post Writing a thesis while being depressed, mission impossible? It is by far the most read post on this blog, some examples of the search words that lead …