Countdown to hell

At what point does writing stop being a hobby and become an obligation? At what level should you care? Did I leave the car door opened?… These are the kind of questions I have tried to keep myself busy with, but it’s becoming quite difficult so I resorted to my very last way out: Science Fiction. However, after watching Alien and halfway through Aliens (for the non-initiated that’s the second part of the saga) I had to accept that poor acting and jalapeño popcorn just weren’t gonna cut it for me.

Fact is election day is this Sunday, and I’m not the least bit excited, maybe because I’ve been busy freaking out about it. We got a lot to loose, and some very dark people have a lot to gain from whatever happens on that day. The once (and hopefully not soon to be) State party PRI has been caught over and over again in nasty stunts to get voters, and you’d have to be quite blind no to see all the different ways that is election has become tainted, and still experience has shown us mexicans that no matter how filthy and election is proven to be, results will be upheld.

In fact, I’d dare to say there hasn’t been one clean federal election in Mexico’s history. Not that every single one of them has been a fraud, not obvious ones in any case. No, what I mean is that there’s always the ghostly figure of vote buyers, of threats against uneducated people to make them vote a certain way, of endless tricks and obscure possibilities to make and election’s result tilt a specific way, as you can see here or here.

Still not everything’s lost, and hopefully the left wing candidate has learned his lessons from last election and has acquired a better defense mechanism against such threats… it’s just sad that he has to. There’s an incredible amount of problems to be solved immediately in Mexico, and it would be kind of relieving another huge one on our backs.

*You can also further your reading a bit more here

Overwhelmed

Tired of my ocasional but not uncommon complaints about all the different ways I feel sick, my mother said one thing I sure didn’t want to hear: “You should go get a general check-out”, to which of course I acted as if I hadn’t heard a thing. Not that unexpectedly, I now get to be nagged about this topic every now and then, even when I’ve been forced to keep all my ailments to myself.

Though I would indeed love the headaches and cramps and all of my weirder achaques to go away, I think I’m just not willing to do what it takes for them to do so. And no, I haven’t just tapped the center of my self-knowledge to realize this, but I got to be laughed at (one of the possible reactions I usually get when I forget to translate my thoughts into outer-world language) when after another unwanted motherly exhortation I simply added I would at the very least wait until election day is over AND I’ve come to terms with the result, whatever this may be (btw, that took about four years with last election).

So, after being momentarily puzzled about the laughter I provoked, I thought maybe I should take political matters out of my head for a day or two, and what do I get? Bam! Working on the-thesis-that-must-not-be-named like I hadn’t for weeks. Surely, that lasted until right about now, but still, it oughtta mean good news right?

Aaanyhow, today I woke up and realized that election day is only a week away, and we’re only four days away (thank you sweet lord!!) of stop being hammered with spots and adds and campaign lies promises, and that is supposed to be good news. Except it isn’t.

Of course I want some candidates to stop telling me why I should vote for them when I know I won’t. Of course I want other candidates to stop telling me to vote for them because I know I will! My decision was taken months ago and nobody scared me into it, which is what most of these people try to do and that’s the kind of votes most of this campaigns prey on.

However, the only thing I can predict for sure is that on July 2 there will be chaos. It can be happy chaos, or it can be angry, violent chaos. And the odds don’t look too good for different reasons. First of all, very few can honestly say they trust those odds, no matter what candidate or party they support, and that’s the same story for the institutions that are supposed to protect us mexicans from yet another fraud, nobody can honestly say they’re not vulnerable.

Secondly, and this is the reason that provokes my biggest concern, there could actually be a clean election and that could also mean we’re screwed. It’s been proven that the most the most educated people in Mexico, have supported AMLO; universities, colleges, academic institutes, and almost every intellectual leader have claimed their support the left party candidate (not his party though, but that’s another bedtime story I’ll save for later), and that should mean something very big for society. Not that they’re votes are more important than the ones coming from popular sections of the population, not at all. In fact it’s  just the other way around. However, when such a chunk of a society is backing one same candidate, and this chunk happens to be the most informed in the country, no matter its size, it should mean something, because these people should be leaders in their communities.

Quite sadly this is not the case… the real leaders are soap actors and their TV stations, journalists who act like soap opera characters, and millions of plastic box cases in which these people say and show what they were bought and paid to. These are the real opinion leaders, and the other section of society who is strongly persuaded of the dangers of EPN winning the election may write and talk and march all they want, and it will still be a miracle if they’re able to reach the millions who can’t open a newspaper, the ones who do but do’t go beyond the headlines, and specially the ones who trust Televisa and TV Azteca to tell them what’s happening, what’s good and what’s bad…and what they should be afraid of. The mystery is how many of those people really exist, how many will we be able to reach before it’s too late.

Sure, there are polls and surveys and all kinds of democratic measuring instruments, but it’s not likely that anybody would ask or respond honestly to questions like “Are you unable of forming a political opinion by yourself?”, “Do you believe everything you hear if the TV says so?”, and so on. So we can’t really know how many of these guys are really out there, and it looks that that number could make the difference on this election.

I’ll further my thoughts later on today, ’cause right now there’s a cat plot to keep me from working, and one gets eventually tired of pushing kitties away from the keyboard and erasing their mindful contributions off the screen.

It’s all about the language!

So… yes, here comes the self explanation nobody asked for. I’m mexican, and I live in Mexico City; this requires a regular use of the Spanish language and an average knowledge of it; I think I don’t completely suck at it.

So, why am I blogging in English? Hell If I know… I’ve been doing quite a lot of my personal writing this way for a while now. Even when I’m doing something more formal, such as the-thesis-that-must-not-be-named, I find myself wishing I could do it in English, who knows, perhaps I could’ve finished it by now. I don’t know if this is a bad habit or just the way I am, but I’ve actually been in situations where I don’t remember a particular word in Spanish so I have to say it in English, or I just can’t find a proper way to say something because it fits so perfectly in this foreign language.

And yes, I do feel weird about this sometimes, mostly wondering how normal this is, or if I should just ditch my country and go somewhere I can always speak the way I want. But something worse is the look I get when I try to explain this to somebody outside my head… come to think about it maybe I’m choosing to write this because I’ll see no face when some lost internaut finds my babbling by chance. And that’s not even the end of it, this poor tortured soul that prefers English rather than its mother tongue majored in… Latin American Studies!

I guess English became some sort of refuge language for me, because I started doing this as a monster-teen that wanted everybody to stay out of her business,and then it just became some sort of pattern. I also know this is not related to wether I love my country or not, because I do, as well as its culture, and most particularly its history (though I’m starting to think that’s just a plus in the freak show).

Anyways, I hope I’ll continue talking about Mexico’s current situation tomorrow, ’cause today I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

P.S. Has this ever happened to you? Do you know if there’s a circus support group I can join any time soon? I think I should consult with my shrinky, here’s a picture of him:

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